Tuesday, May 22, 2012
From this day onwards all new wallofblog posts will be available at www.wallofblog.tumblr.com
Wallofblog.blogspot.com will stay live for archival purposes only for the time being, with a view to returning if circumstances change, but for now join me on www.wallofblog.tumblr.com for all your quality daily blogging needs!
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
They are in the supermarket beside the nuts.
Just a fun snack.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
They love it.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
A great deal of people in China hate the Japanese, the same way we are supposed to hate the English. One of the groups made a whole list comparing the Chinese to the Japanese, with the Chinese coming out on top in each case. "Chinese people are stronger than Japanese people" etc etc
After a list of 10 of these they included
"Chinese and Japanese have the same yellow races's people"
It's funny when they call themselves yellow.
I would never do it though.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
The other night we were out, at the usually spot, and on around the 7 pint mark he appeared out of nowhere. He told us to finish quickly and come join him. As we were drunk, this seemed like a great idea. We went to a restaurant very close by and were ushered into a private room. There was a big table,covered in food and beer, and maybe ten people sitting around. Some women, some men. We drank, ate and cheersed with the people. My friend had to go, as he had work the next morning, but I didn't so I decided to hang around. I said good bye to my friend and went back into the room.
When I sat down, my rich Chinese friend said quietly to me "look at these women, which one do you like?" there were four women sitting across the table from me. What was going on?? Where these the prostitutes? How was I going to get out of this?? I didn't want to sleep with a prostitute. I was very drunk and wanted KFC. I casually said to him, "they are all beautiful" (they weren't, this is when I realised they probably weren't here for a sex festival) Soon after much drinking and slagging and all that the whole table was listening to me being asked which one of the ladies I liked best, I eventually settled on the second must attractive one (if I've learned anything from Neil Strauss' "the game" (and I haven't) it's that you go for the less attractive friend to make the more attractive friend jealous and thus interested in you)
Thinking, drunkenly, that I'd at least get her number, I was disappointed when the rich china man said to me, being totally serious, "ok Andrew, you work very hard, and learn Chinese, she can be your girlfriend"
Learning Chinese is far too hard. Why didn't he just bring a prostitute??
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
To-days post was going to be about the wraps you can get in the canteen here.
I can't post images for some reason.
Hopefully images to follow later or tomorrow.
As they are frying the wrap, and pockets of air begin to appear in the sizzling dough, they open them and scramble egg INSIDE the dough. Yes. INSIDE the dough.
They then put some meat and spices and shite on it and wrap it up.
Sometimes they try to put lettuce on it!!!
I say NO NO NO and wave my hands and head frantically.
I should really learn the word for no.
Monday, May 7, 2012
When I was here last summer, a week before I came home, there were about three of us still hanging around. The students had gone home and the teachers were travelling. We had been out drinking one day and, as the taxi let us out at the gate when we came back that night, we decided we wanted to lie on the grass for a while. After some time it started to rain. It doesn't rain often but when it does it is very heavy. We were at least five minutes walk from the apartment block and didn't want to be out in the rain. Thinking quickly, I got up and, as my friend rolled under one push to find shelter, I took a run and jumped into this one.
I jump straight into it and flattened half of it. I didn't find shelter in the bush, just crushed it.
The next morning, in the clear light of day, it was obvious it wasn't going to spring back to life. Feeling bad, I packed my bags and came home.
To my surprise when I came back this time, the bush seems to be doing well. I think they have planted a smaller bush in the hole I made and have applied some structural support and shaping rope type thing around it in the hope it grows back solid and round.
I'm not sure why it is pink though. It wasn't pink before.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
These are always elderly people who have seen so much, survived the madness of Mao and the transition to an open economy but have been left behind by the apparent boom (cars and apartment blocks). You can give them 2 or 3 euro (which is ten times more than they will have collected all day) and they are fed for a couple of days.
And unlike tramps at home, you can be sure they aren't spending it on smack.
There isn't any.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
I was nipping across the city yesterday at peak time (between 4 and 8 is a cunt)and ended up in the back of a taxi that already had a passenger in the front seat. It turned out we were both going to the same place so it was an easy 80 cent for the driver.
I did note to myself as I got in, that the women in the front seat was very attractive but thought nothing more of it. She was deep in conversation on her phone and oblivious to everything around her. I figure attractive people don't really need to worry about anything in world apart from being attractive but I wouldn't know.
She should have been worried though, as the taxi driver used her unconcerned state against her at every opportunity and used his phone to snap pictures of her,and her legs, whenever we stopped at lights or the traffic got heavy.
What a horrible thing to do. Disgusting. I was horrified.
And jealous of his view.
I could see her in the mirror.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
It's difficult seeing movies. Two cinemas show them, but one dubs them and the other subtitles. And they change this around every couple of months it seems. I want to see the avengers but I'm sure if it will be released here. Sure, Titanic is fine, the folly of the west sinks due to arrogance and incompetence. Let all the Chinese people see that. But a team of American super beings, fighting for America, saving the whole world??? It's hard to know.
So I pulled a clogher markets circa 95 on it and downloaded a "cam"
A cam is when someone brings a digital recording device into the cinema and films the film.
For all the advances in digital recording, it still looks like it was filmed on hi 8.
It was still watchable though.
I have to stop besting the Chinese government. They hate that
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
I woke up and I was hungover and then I went on the internet and then I went to the toilet I got sick all over the toilet because I ate too much food last night. I slept for another while and then I went to the shop for pepsi and coffee. I downloaded the ricky gervais show and watched it and then I heated up a kfc burger I bought last night and it was really nice. At two o'clock I had a nap until 6 o'clock. I watched dr house and mad men and game of thrones. Then I went to sleep.