Saturday, March 19, 2011

Lies

Pointy lamp shade  hats???? Haven’t seen one.  Nobody wears them.

Haven’t seen one paddy field.

Dragons? Nope. Not one.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

How is China Different Cont.

The @ is above the number 2 on the keyboard.

Can’t get sausages.

Everything is in Chinese.

You talkin to me????

I think it must be a universal law, that no matter where you are in the word or what language you speak, that taxis drivers will try and talk to you.

“I don’t speak chinese”

“I dont speak chinese”

Oh he is still talking to me

“I dont speak chinese”

LOOK WHERE YOU ARE GOING WE ARE GOING TO CRASH OH FUCK (in my head)

Drivers here are mental. There are no rules of the road, everybody does what ever they want all of the time. Over taking on the inside, overtaking on the outside, oh there is something coming, just blow your horn that will stop them. That was close. Thats great, take the racing line around every corner, there is something coming, blow your horn. That bus almost crushed us.

It is cheap though. About 20 european cent a mile.

I dont spell check my posts here. I hate wordpress, but blogspot is blocked.

Fuck the Queen

Having a lot of conversations with other westerns (english people) that go like this;

English person: “Ah yeah mate irish r’ ya, my (insert parent/grandparent) is Irish, what part? 

Me: “County Cavan”

English person: Ah?

If  its not Dublin or Mayo there havent heard of it. Which is fair enough I suppose. My standard response is to say, well its in the north and part of Ulster but Britian dont own it, which usually is followed up with some cheeky sparing, oh yeah didnt manage to get your hands on it did ya??? ah? ah? Hey? oh!!!

I have no idea why I do this.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Horror

It finally happened yesterday. The thing I have been avoiding for the last month. I used a squat toilet. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. I had been carrying a roll of toilet paper around with me in my bag since I got here.  The constant diet of overly spicy noodles and nuts and fruit finally caught up with me.  Its a terrifying thing.  You spend the whole time worrying “Am I going to shit on my trousers?”.  Also you can’t read a book on one.  I say on one. You cant really be on one. Just over one. Its a hole in the ground. 

In researching this article I notice wikipedia has an extensive collection of articles on toilets. That will kill a couple of hours.