Friday, October 8, 2010

Hot Topic Hot Topic Hot Topic Hot Topic

X factor is really heating up. Down to the final 12. But who will win?? The early stages of the competition this year have been fraught with controversy due to a shake up in the categories. This year they finally settled with:

Soft spoken middle class homosexuals

Working class poor + drug problem

Sexed up teen with baby

Old weird and/or fat with a booming voice

The daily mail demanded the creation of an additional category, BLACKS, citing the rampant filthy racism at UTV as the reason but once the final 3 were selected, they demand the BLACKS be sent back to Africa. How dare they take over the nation’s
favourite singing competition?

Other highlights included

Young Mother Sheena Sheers was booted out at boot camp due to the baby not actually being hers but her sisters. She was then spectacularly brought back into the competition in a different category when she quickly developed a drug problem. “This smack will give me a better life” she drooled to reporters.

67 year old Geraldine caused controversies when, after a booming rendition of fly me to the moon, Cowell quipped “its good but you’re not really mental enough” “I am mental” Geraldine screamed as she stripped off, forced Dermot O’Leary to get on all fours and rode him around the studio like a horse. “One trillion percent yes” Cowell declared.

The three soft spoken middle class homosexuals are soft spoken middle class homosexuals. I think one of them wore a hat.

Sexy sexed up 15 year old mother of three Kylie James, who was eliminated at the judges houses when she failed to hit the right notes, apparently offered childless judge Simon Cowell one of her children, if he put her through to the next round. Cowell refused the child, as he is developing a new show in which contestants sing for his sperm. Then the four winners have a baby, which he will market as the ultimate baby band. Look out for it on UTV next summer. Kylie James subsequently killed herself.

I love the x factor it’s totally Mega LOLZ. Who is your favs?