Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Creative Process

Ideas which I have had today that for a second I thought I might be able to write a piece about.

luckily I came to my senses because they are all fucking rubbish and make me sick in my mouth a little.

1) About how I don't trust people with 085 or 083 numbers as they are fickle etc etc

I actually wouldn't be surprise if, in the future, I saw some Irish comedian, recognisable from the panel, doing a similar routine

2) A social netting working service called "bitter" for people with no friends!!

poor poor parody.

Could see it popping up in a celebrity impressions thing on channel four, someone dressed up as Peter Andre logging on to "bitter" (oh god, there's the mouth sick)

3) How annoyed I get when people hilariously say "What happens if you google "google"? Does like the Internet break or something"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" No. You get a fucking link to fucking google. Cunt.

But that observation is as weak as the observation I'm getting annoyed over.

Just had a packet of jelly tots. They were nice

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Short Fat Bald Paedophile

SpecSaver's range of designer male glasses are all assigned peoples names. The above glass are called "Andy"

The above glass would only ever be worn by a short fat bald paedophile. Look at them!

I'm nearly there though. Need glasses, short, fat, balding.............oh no!!! It's like Minority Report!! These glasses have shown me my future!! The more I struggle to prevent it, the more likely it is to happen.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Friday, May 14, 2010


I can’t take it any longer. After another sleepless night pondering my future and the economy I have come to realise that my only hope is to re-launch this blog as a scathing critic of the current Fianna Fáil government and the Brian Cowen regime. If there is one thing this country needs it’s another person with half baked, ill conceived, uniformed views on the current economic climate. That person is me.


What makes this blog different?

1) My razor sharp wit. Eg I will only refer to the The Fianna Fáil party as The Fianna Fail party BAAZING
2) Abbreviations Eg The current economic climate will be the cec
3) A love of foreigners. No fucking way am I cleaning toilets, let them all in.
4) It’s called Polablogging. I’ve invented my own verb!

How often will the blog be updated?

Every day until we get Brian COWman out of power

Will if feature satirical cartoons like the ones in the Irish times I don’t really understand?


What are my own political views?

I am young, fit,healthy and have loads of everything and no worries. I enjoy the latest technology, new clothes and fine foods. I am a massive consumer of retail goods from large corporations. I love Coke, Google and Microsoft and give little or nothing to people less well of than me, so obviously I’m a socialist.

Is this new style of blog just a poor attempt to satirise satire?


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Why am I so angry?

I asked a man for directions today. He told me to go 3 miles and then go another 3 miles. Could have just said 6.

If I lost the ability to convey emotions in text form I would now insert an emoticon (what a fucking shite word) of a face going red looking angry and exploding. I may also include steam coming out of the "ears"

Luckily I can express myself through text.

What a fucking idiot. I feel like my face is going red, looking angry and exploding. I also feel as if steam is coming out of my hairs.

But just in case that's not clear enough....look at the kitten.

Makin shit up

Where there is livestock, there is deadstock, isn't that what they say?

Well no they don't.

Dead stock applies in retail to products that can no longer be sold or to the stock market when shares are worthless. Not to dead farm animals. Dead farm animals are dead livestock. Not "deadstock".


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Iron Man 2!

It's ok

New bloggins!

I have relaunched the blog as a witty movie blog!! You're in for a treat! First review or witty movie thing to follow soon!