Thursday, May 10, 2012

Ladies of the world

A few weeks ago I posted about meeting a wealthy business man who had promised to get me and my friend some prostitutes. Although the prostitutes haven't materialised yet, we have actually become quite good friends with this man. He regularly texts us and shows up when we are drinking and pays for everything.

The other night we were out, at the usually spot, and on around the 7 pint mark he appeared out of nowhere. He told us to finish quickly and come join him. As we were drunk, this seemed like a great idea. We went to a restaurant very close by and were ushered into a private room. There was a big table,covered in food and beer, and maybe ten people sitting around. Some women, some men. We drank, ate and cheersed with the people. My friend had to go, as he had work the next morning, but I didn't so I decided to hang around. I said good bye to my friend and went back into the room.

When I sat down, my rich Chinese friend said quietly to me "look at these women, which one do you like?" there were four women sitting across the table from me. What was going on?? Where these the prostitutes? How was I going to get out of this?? I didn't want to sleep with a prostitute. I was very drunk and wanted KFC. I casually said to him, "they are all beautiful" (they weren't, this is when I realised they probably weren't here for a sex festival) Soon after much drinking and slagging and all that the whole table was listening to me being asked which one of the ladies I liked best, I eventually settled on the second must attractive one (if I've learned anything from Neil Strauss' "the game" (and I haven't) it's that you go for the less attractive friend to make the more attractive friend jealous and thus interested in you)

Thinking, drunkenly, that I'd at least get her number, I was disappointed when the rich china man said to me, being totally serious, "ok Andrew, you work very hard, and learn Chinese, she can be your girlfriend"

Learning Chinese is far too hard. Why didn't he just bring a prostitute??

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