Thursday, January 5, 2012

I have nothing to declare except my genius

Thought of a bit of witty banter today that I'm going to try to drop in to conversation sometime.

Our parish priest's name is "Oliver".

I'm going to refer to hardcore mass goers in the parish as "Oliver's Army" (Just like the title of Elvis Costello's 1979, No.2 hit "Olivers Army")


Although my witty banter plans don't always work out. I was in specsavers the other day getting prescription sunglasses (yeah whatever I'm cool) and during the fitting I planned on saying "yes they fit perfect...all we need now is the sun!!!!!!!"

Didn't happen. Bottled it. Just mumbled thanks.

Usually I'm all chat in the opticians. In summer 2010 I was in getting contact lenses and he asked what I wanted them for. I couldn't tell him the truth (which was that I wanted girls to like me, and I needed lenses because girls don't like nerds with their big glasses faces) so I said sport. He replied "Football is it?" "yes" I lied. The conversation continued to the point where he believed I was a nippy corner forward, but I was having a bad year and was going to be dropped before the championship.

"Oliver's Army" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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