Monday, July 5, 2010

Christ.

Inspired by a feature on Andrew Collins and Richard Herrings BBC 6 music radio show on saturday mornings, where they read out their teenage poetry, I decided to have a look and see could I find any of my own work.....GOLD.

I hope to make this a regular feature. This was the first one I found but I know I wrote more... Remember that I'm sixteen, cant understand why girls (and most people) dont like me and I'm a lot more sensitive and deep than people think. Also I should say that although I wrote a great deal of my compositions as songs for my album, todays is a poem.

"ALONE"

It is raining very heavy now
I am surrounded by people
yet I am alone
But alone I am not
as Jesus is with me
Like my heart and my lungs
He will always be there
And When I am out on my own
I shall not be alone
Because Jesus is with me
and with me stay?
long past the day
My heart and my lungs are not [there]
It is raining very heavy now
I am surrounded by people



Holy fuck. I'd love some feedback.

6 comments:

  1. i just shed tears man!! very powerful and real. Brings back awful memories of being 16. thanks for ruining my day and making me feel 16 again, couldn't imagine a worse time in life then being 16

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  2. In the actual text, on line nine "I shall not be alone" I crossed out the word "will" and added shall instead. Makes it that bit classier.

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  4. Amazing! Was the jesus angle serious? Was it triggered by a specific event? What style is that? Its got everything, the random rhyming scheme, truncated sentences, unanswered questions and an abrupt ending. I'm mocking from experience though, just so you know. I have the exact same type of thing hidden away somewhere,(i say somewhere, i know exactly where) where i believed that owning a guitar meant that anything i wrote that rhymed was actually a song. I even "wrote" the music for one, ie. i named a series of chords i knew and repeated them. Would i be right in guessing that there's at least one poem/song with the theme of "everybody hates me but i know i'm better than them and they'll never keep me down"? Thats pretty much the title of my unfinished album.

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  6. You asked was it triggered by a specific event???

    Oh Yes.

    I actually started laughing out loud when I thought this sentence in my head.

    And remember this is deadly serious...The event that triggered "ALONE" was...

    Heavy rain during the school mass.

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