Friday, June 18, 2010

Shilpa Poppadom?

Anyone see big brother last night?* It was a classic episode. Pringles got in hot water with Big Brother for shitting in the oven (his defence being “I’m mentally ill) and as punishment had to drink rat’s piss. Rats wasn’t happy about having to piss into a bottle in the diary room but rules are rules. Mellissa was not happy when M.C Blackskin (yo ya lookin’ @ me wha 4) said her tattoo looked wack. Mellissa, who has had Jordan’s face tattooed on to her own , got upset in diary room and vowed she would win big brother to prove the doubters wrong, and put money towards getting an extra large breast grafted on to her back “3 for 2 is an offer the jazz mags couldn’t refuse” she said. M.C Blackskin (yo ya lookin’ @ me wha 4) told her he would make it up to her and compose a rap about the incident some day. The white rapper is convinced big brother is just what his career needs. Another conflict arouse when Becks took offence to Dwayne’s “thinks he is Prince Andrew” attitude. “So what if I have 8 kids and am making 60000 pound a year on benefits I’m entitled to it, at least I earned it and wasn’t just handed money by mummies and pop pop” Dwayne later admitted in the diary room it wasn’t the benefits that annoyed him, it was the fact that while in the big brother house she left her kids in the care of Diana and Jade, her two dogs. When she quip “Babies shit, Dogs eat shit” Dwayne had had enough.

Other highlight of last nights episode included Geordie good time gal “Cheryalisous” (and pre op transsexual) getting a blow job from gay Gulf war veteran Michael. Michael who lost both arms, legs and his sight in the Gulf later said “Me wife’s going to kill me”

*I didn't see Big Brother last night. I'm guessing this is fairly spot on though.


  1. Nice. More in this vein would be good, if you're up to writing it.

  2. pretty close to what is happening i believe.

  3. All i know is that there's an irish girl who refers to herself, with no sense of irony whatsoever, as Caoimhe Da Diva. I have no words for how i feel about that.