More of this Shite.

Friday 12th of March 1999

Today was ok. Went to school. Had a French test in it. Done Shite. In English we prayed. Art was no good, had a test in science I did ok. English was good fun sat beside Daniel on the bus. Had chips and sausages for dinner jim came home. Taped star wars trailer. Saw the Simpsons it was very very good. I played handball with myself saw comic relief.

Saturday 13th

Today was alright got up and went to cavan. I got a parker pen. We got mammy a watch and a pig teddy. Went to the Melbourne bakery. Had sausages and rashers. Went into dunnes. Got a Simpsons guide in the blue book shop. Went into Jims pub. Had no dinner. Saw Mr plow Simpsons. Mark was down saw don’t try this at home, had Chinese for tea. Mammy and Daddy went out for tea. Newcastle Lost.

Sunday 14th

Today was alright. I made breakfast for mammy and daddy. Daddy didn’t get up so I ate it. Went to mass saw Simpsons had a horrible dinner. Done homework watched face off. It was class. Cavan won I didn’t go to the match. Went for a drive got chewing gum and a milky bar. Went to the grave yards. Played James bond with myself. Mammy liked her presents, had no tea just buns. Jim went home mark was down saw two Simpsons

Monday 15th

Today was grand. Played handball before school. Won. Art was shite woodwork was ok. Went to the libeary in Irish got book on tall ships. Hurt my fingers playing handball. PE was class had fried chicken for dinnear. Got a pencil and ruler, played handball with myself. Saw neighbours and the Simpsons. Listened to meatloaf. Had a nice tea got fruit pastils. Saw Mrs Merton

Tuesday 16th

Today was grand didn’t play handball today. Woodwork was ok finished diber. Hockey was ok hurt my finger really bad. Had a bag of chips and some pops and no metal work. Had stew for dinner. Went to bridgets and played with david and johnnatann.play football and rugby. Had coke and a kit kat had bread and tea. Saw who wants to be a millionare and had fruit pastiles. Francis Rang no school tomorrow.

Wednesday 17th

(No School St Patricks day) To-day was no good, got up at nine o clock. Had an egg in toast for tea. It was nice went to mass. I finished reading Jurassic park. Had chicken stuffing spuds and gravey. Started reading the lost world. Went to parade in Ballyjamesduff. It was shite had a cornet and some lucozade. Went to oldcastle got chips and a burger. Saw buffy and cornation street and south park was class

Thursday 18th

Today was ok. Science was really really really bad. In metal work I finished the screw. I started the spanner. Maths was no good. Had chips and a burger sat beside micky on the bus. Had voluvonts for dinner. Didnt play handball with myself. Saw grange hill neighbours and friends. Kathleen was here. Francis rang had three buns and a cup of tea. Saw top gear it was class. Saw red dwarf. Conformation tomorrow

Sometimes doing these makes me sad....

....not because I'm getting old but because I was such a little loser

Friday March 5th 1999

Today was good, got up at 10:30. Saw tellytubies. We got are new car. It is class. Electric windows and cool radio. It is a honda civic 94-cn-532. It is red went to oldcastle got chewing gum and lucozade. Had pasta for dinnear. Went up to sean and kevins went up the tree house and played football with kevin. Monica is hear. Got a curry, Breada gave me liar liar. Went to the frolics. It is good. Saw micky and Padraic. Went to kathleens house after.

Saturday March 6th

Today was no good. Got up at half nine and watched liar liar. It is very funny. Had a cup of tea mammy got me lucazade in the town. Watched a cowboy film pauline was here.Went to virginia got grapes and fanta and hubba bubba. Had cocktail sausages saw some of dont try this at home.Went to oldcastle got hubba bubba rented GODZILLA. godzilla is no good. monica was here

Sunday 7th

Today was ok. Got up at half nine had a bath.Wore my jeans and jims jumper. Had a cup of tea and bread. Watched Godzilla went to mass. Seen simpsons and robot wars. Had lovely dinner it was very nice. Watched the end of godzilla went for a drive. Went to the graveyard got sweets and a drink. Went to mountnugent game. They lost. had lovely tea. Saw mr bean cornation street the simpsons and red dwarf.

Monday 8th

Started reading Jurassic Park again. Today was ok, didnt play handball today. Had free Irish and art. Had geo in room 24. PE was very good I really like playing Hockey. Had a really nice dinner done all my homework. Saw blue peter neighbours and the simpsons.Played handball with myself had tea and bread saw friends and mrs merton francis rang.

Tuesday 9th

Today was ok had cup of tea. went to school. Did some stupid drawing of a garden diber in woodwork. Hockey was class. Went to watch the badminton finals they were no good. Nearly finished the book in English. All we done in metal work was right. Had stew for dinner played handball with myself. Went to the village got sweets Saw half of ally mcbeal.

Wednesday 10th

Today was ok. Went to school, have french test on friday.Science was no good, had to go to mass in history. Michael and stephen got in trouble for messing. Done pottery in art made face. Maths was good enough. Woodwork was good. Had sagpite bolinase for dinner. Done all my homework played handball with myself. It was class. Saw buffy the vampire slayer and 1/2 of er. taped goldeneye

Thursday 11th

Today was ok. Went to school. Double science was shite. Really shite. Was using the lade in metalwork.it was class. had geo in room 24 and woodwork in room 21. it was crap had pasta for dinner. Stephen and david were here so I couldnt play handball with myself. It rain. Done no homework. Saw red dwarf. it was good had bread for tea.

Just look at Wednesday the 10th

played handball with myself. It was class.

Not only was I playing handball with myself, but today's standard of handball was of a higher quality than normal. So high in fact, that I had to make a note of it in my diary (which I would have been writing several hours later) so I would never forget about it.

A Woman?

I recently got an alert from twitter about this new follower I've pick up. This is the level of babe my witty tweets attract.

Pretty sexy, I'm sure you'll agree. Her website is xxx-orgies8.info. Check it out.

Have a look at some of her tweets. Not only is Rebecca beautiful and the owner of a sexy website, but also very intelligent. And she follows me on twitter. I think she's the one.

Topical Satire

The pressure of creating a successful internet phenomenon here at wallofblog has lead me to do some pretty unsavoury things around my home town. I ask for peace, support and understanding in this difficult time.

Thank you

Please

I would like to ask the Russian fundamentalist Christians who keep spamming me after yesterdays post to please stop. Or keep it up, its making my numbers look very impressive.

Topical

I don't normally do this (talk about popular culture) but....

Popular music band "The Shins" have a new album out tomorrow. I'm not reviewing it or recommending it or any of that shite, there are enough cunts spouting their worthless opinions on the internet without me starting. I will say though, it's ages since they had anything out and they were my go to band in college when I was trying to impress girls. Any excuse to mention "The Shins" or get a lady to hear a "The Shins" song and I took it. It actually worked once too.

It was all like.....

"Yes ladies I do like sensitive quirky guitar based pop music. Oh you haven't heard of them? Yeah I know all about culture and stuff"

How could anyone resist?

Although as soon as they realised I just spent all my time reading music magazines so I could learn which bands nobody heard of played sensitive quirky guitar based pop music that emotional, average looking 19 year girls might be impressed by, they soon lost interested.

Remembering Stuff! Part 4. Chocolate!

I know I promised never to do this but everyone loves remembering old chocolate bars don't they?

Ah remember old chocolate bars? Remember 1500bc when the Olmec Indians cultivated the first cocoa bean? Remember 900ce when the elite in Mayan society began to drink unsweetened cocoa?

Nostalgia is fun!

While we are at it, let's remember old t.v shows as well.

Remember 1897 when Karl Ferdinand Braun, a German physicist, invented the first cathode-ray tube? And 1907,when, Boris Rosing transmitted black-and-white silhouettes of simple shapes, using a mechanical mirror-drum apparatus as a camera and a cathode-ray tube as a receiver?

What did Andrew build?

LEGO


WHAT IS THIS? ANSWERS BELOW

The big sports.

I've decided to get into a new sport. Not play one, but follow one. I only really like tennis at the moment, it's easy to follow because it's only on 4 times a year. I like premiership football also, but it hasn't been the same for me since King Kev left the toon and Shearer and Ferdinand were playing up front. I think it's too late for me to get into rugby. It's like I'd be jumping on the bandwagon. I'm old enough to remember when it wasn't that popular here and now every Tom, Dick and Harry answers Ireland's call. I could go American, they have loads of sports. But I think I prefer movies about American sports rather than the sports themselves. Space Jam. The might ducks 1 and 2 (haven't seen 3). Moneyball. That really long one about American football with Al Pacino. Golf! Golf is big. Ireland are the champs. But watching golf just makes me want to play golf on the Xbox or iPad. Snooker! Not a sport. F1! Tried before. It's on when we are eating dinner on a Sunday so I can't watch it.

Cricket! YES CRICKET!

Its not very popular here but we have an up and coming international team! Neil Hannon wrote an album about it! It can be easily followed online and entire tournaments are covered on the radio!

I just need to learn the rules!

Follow me on my amazing journey into the world of cricket!

First task.

Check what teletext page it's on.

BBC 1 page 340!

Remembering Stuff! Part 3

Remember when Columbus discovered America? And wiped out all the natives?

Remembering stuff is fun.

#wob

#My #journey #into #the #world #of #social #networking #continues #today #with #a #new #wob #twitter #account @wallofblog

Follow @wallofblog for tiny micro wallofblogs

Get with it Grandad!!

Successful multimedia entertainment website, such as wallofblog, need to engage with social networks to increase flow and deliver users content in way that suits the needs of a modern audience.

It's with this in mind that I have decided to make the leap into web 2.0 and set up the first wallofblog social network.

So open up your myspace accounts and add

www.myspace.com/wallofblog

It's cooler than a billion dollars.

I'm really going.

They all said "sure he'll not go back at all, he has a great time on the dole, living with mammy and daddy. He wouldn't work to warm himself that fella, he is just using china as an excuse not to get a job"

SHUT UP

I am not afraid of work. It's just hard work I don't like.

Anyway, Look at this. I am actually going.




Not for a few weeks though.

Shouldn't have cancelled my netflicks.

POLABLOGGING RUSSIA

IT'S BACK. MOTHER. FUCKING. JIGSAW. NEWS!

Because you demanded it.

I'm going to put this bitch together.

Happy blog day!

Wallofblog, or #wob as it's known as on twitter (it's not), is two years old today! Why not treat yourself and take the time to read every single post from the last two years. I was going to do a poll and let readers vote for their favourite post but it's obviously the one where I say pineapple is nice. I stand by that, it is nice.

I reckon in another two years #wob will be a large multimedia company, covering comedy, creative writing, music and art or it won't be.

Exciting isn't it?

Coming Soon!!!

With these exclusive wallofblog t-shirts you can show support for your favorite website and be the hippest coolest dude on campus





Coming soon to the wallofblog online store!

Lizard in a Blizzard.

I had planned to spend this afternoon trying to build some of my songs in Garageband for iPad but then I started drinking whiskey and watching 24 and this became too difficult.

I then realised that there was no point working on my own songs in Garageband because I can't use it well enough, and anyway, the charts are full of people shouting nonsense over drums, so I decided to give that a go instead. I cant really use garageband and I dont know anything about music but this is the result.

It's called "Ridin' shotgun (cock n'balls) ohhh"

Click the title for wob soundcloud

Ridin' shot gun (cock n'balls) ohhh

There we go. Pretty hot shit. I've got a hit on my hands.

Rihanna, give me a call, we can work together. I promise I won't try and have sex with you.(I will)

Im gonna sit back right easy and laugh

I'm not a superstitious person. I'm very rational. I don’t believe in anything. Luck, ghosts, fairies, jesus, magpies, astrology, fortune tellers, horse whispers, tarot cards, god, black cats, lucky charms or zeus. Nothing. There is no one with any mystical control over my life..or so I thought! I recently notice a strange pattern. There is one man that controls everything. Who is this magical man???

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.

What’s The Boss got to do with anything?? Let me explain. Since Bruce’s creative and critical rebirth in the early 2000s, every studio album of original material he has released has controlled my life. Put simply, when Bruce releases a cool album, things are good. But when he doesn't, they aren’t.

FURTHER ANALYSIS

Let’s start in 2002.

Bruce and the band released their 12th album, The Rising. This is, without a shadow of a doubt, a cool album. Emerging from the horror of 9/11 (much like myself at the time....That’s a tasteless joke. I didn't realise the horror of the event at the time. My diary entry for that day has two words... "Got skittles") Bruce has a fire in his belly and these songs are, for me, a rallying cry. Bruce tells us the way to deal with the bad stuff is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and enjoy the good stuff. "It's alright, it's alright, it's alright yeah" Bruce sings on the opening track, and everything was. 2002 was great. Minority report was in the cinema, my cousin gave me a play station, I had good friends, the office was on telly, the Rock fought Hulk Hogan at wrestlemania, Ireland were in the world cup, I was happy in the belief that oasis were the best band in the world and I was brilliant at Tony hawk pro skater.

Next, as the war in Iraq raged on into 2005, Bruce went for a largely solo and very angry album, Devils and Dust. I'm not saying this is a bad album. In fact, it’s a very good album. But it's not an album I rush to put on every day. It's a sad album; the songs are sketches of life’s losers. "I know what it's like to fail babe, with the whole world looking on" Bruce sings on "All the way home" and I sure knew it too. I had gone from student of the year, studying astrophysics in one of Irelands top university’s to, in 2005, an almost completely friendless, almost 17 stone minimum wage production line factory worker who spent so much time at the vending machine his fellow factory workers mocked him behind his back. Thanks Bruce.

September 2007

Magic. Besides Born to Run, this is my favourite Bruce Springsteen album. Although it is obviously packed with great songs, it has as much to do with circumstances as with the music. Bruce himself says in the liner notes of 2003s The essential Bruce Springsteen "In any body of work there are obvious high points. The rest depends on who is doing the listening. Where you where, when it was, who you were with when a particular song or album cut the deepest" Everything was right in 2007. I lost most of the weight, grew long hair, was doing well in college, had great friends, a great place to live and drank lots and lots of Guinness. Magic was the soundtrack to this. Every morning, first thing, Radio nowhere was played loud. "Is there anybody alive out there?" Yes there was.

Credit also to 2006s Seeger sessions album and 2007s live in Dublin (although not studio albums of original material, they are great and no doubt played a part in this up swing)

This magic time lasted pretty much to the day his next album came out, January 2009's Working on a Dream. The morning it came out, I went to the shop to get it when I should have been proof reading an economics project that was also due that morning. Both ended up being very average. It has some good songs. It's not a bad album. It’s just not very memorable. That’s about as excited about it as I can get. Since then I've done some good things. It hasn’t been bad. I have had a roof over my head and food on the table. It’s just a bit forgettable and pointless. I finished college (letting my average drop a grade) lost touch with most people and spent all the time since then, bar one extended period, the high point (very much my Outlaw Pete)on the dole, or in pointless jobs.

To-day see’s the release of his latest album “Wrecking ball” so what does the future hold? Well taking on board the brilliant lead single “We take care of our own” the letter that arrived yesterday and the impression I’m getting from the my first listen (I have it on right now!) I’m pretty optimistic.
I was going to make a graph but I can’t be bothered. I have a microwave burger so I’m going to eat that.